today today today

I think I'm in a bit of a rut. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I feel a million times better and look a trillion times better when i am fasting but lately I've slipped back into the binge/purge cycle. I have no way of knowing how much food I actually get out and it really worries me. Sometimes I'll binge, fully intending to purge it back up, and end up falling asleep. I of course purge as soon as I wake up and I usually get some of it up but I almost always feel like I gain that way. I'm going to avoid the kitchen entirely tonight. So far All I've had to eat today is NOTHING!! I drank a small cup of coffee at church today but other than that absolutely nothing. I'm a little bit worried that I might start retaining water because lately I've been letting myself get dehydrated... Idk if anyone else feels like this but honestly I hate the feeling of ANYTHING in my stomach so sometimes I avoid water too. I need to fix this. I need to water fast and just binge on water. I went to starbucks tonight and got a coffee but I haven't had it yet so I'm thinking that'll be dinner. I'm 127 today which is absolutely horrible but on the up side, I went to the gym today and took an hour of cardio funk dance class, burned about a hundred cals running, did a crap ton of abs, did the wave machine for 80 cals, and laid out for a little bit as a reward (: I hav e apool party tomorrow and I am NOT in the kind of shape I would like to be in for it and the guy I've been seriously talking to is coming home this weekend so, of course, I want to look my absolute best for him!!!

Today:

breakfast: small cup of coffee (black)

snack: nothing

lunch: nothing

snack: nothing

dinner: water & venti black coffee (sumatra blend)