fuck..

I'm dating a thirty two year old.. how in the god forsaken fuck did that happen? Uggghh.

on a somewhat brighter note..

(brighter in the sickmixedupcrazy.. not to mention all together assbackwards kind of way)

I've been puking.. a lot... not like I was before my awesome psych... unfortunately.

you see, the sad thing is that before and during my trips to Amy (the super wonderful really sweet psych), I was throwing up everything I put in my mouth.. plus bile.. so I essentially balanced at less calories than I started with. crazyperson logic here. bare with me....
now I'm not throwing up as much as I'm taking in which means doughy, notsolittle B.. fuck.

in the actual, normalpeople, brighter side. my new man is incredibly loving. incredibly. he is rough like I like him to be but gentle like I need him to be. the main negative is that he's older than me.. by twelve years. that's a lot of years.. A LOT a lot.

I'll be in touch.. in some pain seeking way, its good to be back.