Paper Bag: to do:

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

to do:

slightly lift eyelids….. roll out of bed…. stare at mirror….. take inventory of parts… two breasts…. three bellies….. eighteen chins… squeeze eyes shut again… SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!… step on scale…. too much.. drink water…. puke up bile and acid… step on scale…. better… check mirror… she’s still looking at me… STOP STOP STOP!! … start IV drip of black coffee and splenda….. wake up.

2 comments:

sarahFebruary 1, 2012 at 5:24 AM
Wonderful writing. If your profile pic is any indication, you're clearly hot! You look like a model. I hate the thought of puking up bile. What's the point?

xx
ReplyDelete
Replies
Peridot (G+P)February 2, 2012 at 12:54 AM
Starting the day with chucking doesn't sound like fun, even if it makes the numbers go down.

Omg I cannot LIVE without coffee. I wish I could afford Splenda :/

Please take care of yourself, love. You are too awesome for this world to have to do without you!

xoxo
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

QUOTES

"a strang equation, and an altogether too common belief: One's worth is exponentially increased with one's incremental disappearance"
"BE KIND, FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS FIGHTING A HARD BATTLE"
i'm prettier, she's thinner. she wins. i'm smarter, she's thinner. she wins. i'm nicer, she's thinner. she wins. i'm funnier, she's thinner. she wins. i'm better, she's thinner. she wins. i fast, i'm thinner. i'm thin. i win
"I may have an eating disorder, I may be depressed, I may be fragile and unstable, I may be all these terrible, ugly things; but I see things in the world that the others don’t – can’t. The normal people, the healthy people; they wake up in the morning, get out of bed andlive – and by living, so carefree, so engaged in the world, they can’t see it. They can’t see it. They feel so little - so little compared to the ones whose senses are so engaged and raw - not only to pain, but also to beauty."
"IF YOU LOVE HER, SHE WILL HUG YOU. IF YOU HATE HER, SHE WILL KNOW.... AND SHE WILL HUG YOU ANYWAYS"
"NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS, NOTHING"
"MONSTERS ARE REAL, AND GHOSTS ARE REAL TOO. THEY LIVE INSIDE US, AND SOMETIMES THEY WIN." -STEVEN KING
"A COLD PASSION BEATS WITHIN THESE VIENS. MY ANOREXIA, AND A DAILY STRUGGLE. THIS IS THE WAY MY LIFE HAS SHAPED IT'S WALLS TO MAKE MY PERSONALITY WHAT ANY ONE CLOSER TO NORMAL WOULD CALL CRAZY."

Paper Bag

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

to do:

2 comments:

Lovelies!

my incredible influences