Ever since I was a little girl, I've been deathly afraid of mirrors..
I was always a tubby little thing as a toddler and I was fascinated by my rolls. You know.. that kind of fascination people have with grotesque things... The same reason people pick at scabs and squeeze blemishes. I would pull on my tights, leotard, and tutu, check out my fat baby-bum, and spend hours in front of the mirror squatting, stretching, pulling, throwing my fat-baby self through the air, all the while trying my darnedest to not make a sound when all my weight crashthudded down to earth.
By the time I was 5 I had been introduced to the phantom of the opera, great music, creepy-ass show...
The dude comes out of the mirror and takes our heroine into a realm of darkness and perfection
Suddenly, it was as if I had a new explanation as to why mirrors made me sad.
Ever since then, I knew I was different.
The phantom was my sickness
Perfection would be weightlessness.
Every time I was in the dark I would make a point to never walk in front of a mirror. I just knew it would suck me in.
These are the fucked up things I've always lived with.
I was always keenly aware of exactly who was looking back at me when I stared into my own cold eyes. I just always had this feeling that I would blink too hard, stare too long, and the face looking back at me would be some other person's face.
If I didn't show the mirrorphantom a perfect me, she would ooze out, pull me in, and whisk me away into darkness. Her sole purpose, my perfection.
I don't know if any of this makes sense but I've never told anyone..
Maybe she finally got me....
Maybe that's my problem...
I bet she came in the night and crawled into my body without my knowing...
That makes more sense
Oh ps... That's a legit picture of me on my first birthday...
Then I turned into my profile picture... Wtf??? Definitely the mirrorphantom's fault
I'm so jealous - I did not transform into a tanned slender brunette.. I look like an overgrown version of my pale chubby baby photos!!
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Happy Valentine's xx